I told myself today that today was the saddest time of my life. Then I wonder, no it's not, it's just that I have been always happy but once in a while the thoughts of the burdens just crush it all. Not only burdens that crushes my happy days but seeing my friends and family feeling sad, it just weighs me down..
Too many burdens to clear and so little time..
Thinking for my future, my sibling's future..thinking bout the worst scenarios that could happened. Looking at my parents' depleting health, it just makes me worry more..I can't bear to go overseas to study, cause I will miss them and everyone else, worrying about them and wondering how they are coping. If I were financially stable, I might have lesser burdens. Maybe i shouldn't continue on my studies..I just work to earn money for my siblings' future & for emergency usage. Thoughts like these just ponders in my head as graduation closes in.
Sometimes looking at my friends and seeing them sad just makes me sad too. Though they smile and hide their feelings, I will know their true thoughts..You might be thinking that I need someone to console me? Thank you to those who asked me if i'm fine and try to make me smile and feel better. Then you might say, what about asking someone to help you, like a boyfriend. Well, the last thing on my mind is to find a boyfriend since i don't have one. People say: "Come, I help you find boyfriend." Thank You for the offer, but I don't wan to burden someone else of my burdens, I don't him to worry for me as I will feel sadder.
Pouring everything out just made me cry.
:"( Don't worry everyone, I will go through this no matter what. I won't give up and I will be positive!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Oh my LEG~
Haiz...i hope i can recover fast..my leg my leg. why why why. I hate being sick or injured and now my leg is badly injured. Like when i used to get minor injuries from skate, I will still continue to skate no matter how pain. Now leh, i want to work also cannot work, cause if i were to stress my leg too much and worsen the condition, i know that I won't be able to do all those things I love and longing to do..
I also wanna thank my friends for the TLC(Tender Loving Care). I love u guys so much! Hope to see u guys soon..miss ya!
TO LARISSA & XIANG! Thank you both loads! If there was a word that is greater than thank you. that would be it. Thank you for the care! =)
I also wanna thank my friends for the TLC(Tender Loving Care). I love u guys so much! Hope to see u guys soon..miss ya!
TO LARISSA & XIANG! Thank you both loads! If there was a word that is greater than thank you. that would be it. Thank you for the care! =)
Sunday, September 12, 2010
TO DOs before Attachment!
EAT:
MARVELOUS FOOD(steak, pasta, dons etc.)
GO:
To this pub that has this amazing scenery!
DO:
SKATE!
Will update details & more TO DOs!
MARVELOUS FOOD(steak, pasta, dons etc.)
GO:
To this pub that has this amazing scenery!
DO:
SKATE!
Will update details & more TO DOs!
Monday, August 09, 2010
TUMBLR!
HEYHEY! I'm official into tumblr. I will post more frequently in tumblr than in blogger. BUT! no worries, i will update blog too...here's my tumblr link: http://theeateng.tumblr.com
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Visit ChenChian
Yea~
Today we went to visit chenchian!! I bake the shortbread cookies for her too!! Those who tasted it said it was good. But to me the texture & appearance were not passable. since they like it then let it be. Poor chenchian had to wear something like a back braces for 6months. I hope she can recover fast...Had fun being at her house. Hope to see her soon... =)
Today we went to visit chenchian!! I bake the shortbread cookies for her too!! Those who tasted it said it was good. But to me the texture & appearance were not passable. since they like it then let it be. Poor chenchian had to wear something like a back braces for 6months. I hope she can recover fast...Had fun being at her house. Hope to see her soon... =)
Monday, July 26, 2010
What Should I Do??
Dam..so many test this week. LSTY & jap test this week. Plus i haven't even started on my jap speaking test. Die die die. Well, heard about cc's injury, really hope she get well soon cause i kinda know how it feels to have spine pains. Because my spine is slited... =(( which makes my hips one higher than the other...though it isn't that obvious than others. Some of us will be visiting her though, i thought of making something for her to eat...i shall bake SHORTBREAD COOKIES!! Because it's my FAVORITE~ hahaha. hope she will like it. I'm hoping the class to be on wed, so that I can bake it on the Thursday morning before we go visit her in the afternoon. hehehe. It won't be rush for me too.. =))
Sunday, July 25, 2010
STARBUCKS tumbler!!
YEAH!! I went to starbucks with my sis today to do our assignments and after that i bought the STARBUCK tumbler, its brown in colour too! LOVE IT!! hahaha..sian. still got more work to do. Zzzz...
Here I Go Again...
Hahaha..Dam. I should start to sleep early. I'm still awake at this hour...ohoh! i kept thinking of starbucks the whole day. hmm..maybe i should go and do my work there later in the afternoon and purchase my very first tumbler!! YEAH! great idea to myself! hahaha. ok. off to playing games on facebook. XD
Saturday, July 24, 2010
STARBUCKS!!
Crap..i so want to have a drink at starbucks right NOW!! I wanna buy their tumbler so that i can get a coffee in it before heading to sch..nowadays, i need loads of caffeine cause i'm feeling super tired. No idea why, but i guess is because of my flat flat pillow. Hoping to get a new one soon but I don't think i will happen.
Change of Blogskin
Hmmm...some of you might have notice the change of blogskin. Its because i'm too lazy to maintain my blog with all those html codes, so i've decided to use the blogger's themes & gadgets to maintain. its easier! OMG. its like 3.15am and im tired but not asleep. i think im going to bed after writing this post. TIRED!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
How many restrictions do you have from your parents as a 19 year old? I have loads..
1) Have to come home before 12(even if its 10/11pm my mum will still nag)
2) No going out at night
3) No camping(Like wtcrap. It's just camping, I had to find reasons to let her allow me to go)
4) Not allowed to play guitar often or any instrument(Like wtcrap. I close the door to play and im not disturbing you!)
5) No BF until 21(This piece of info come frm my sis recently when my mother suspected I hav a BF and asked her. when my sis asked when was the right time, she said 21. -_-" LOLs, but she didnt noe i broke this rule long ago. *EVIL ME*)
6) Have to sleep before 1 and wake up before 9 or else my mum will start threatening me
7) No working till midnight(how am i going to leave through my attachment. No matter wat company im attached to i need to work till midnight..DIE...)
8) No using of laptop/TV the whole day(then what in the world am i suppose to do?)
9) I have to do all the housework for her when she is "BUSY" but actually she is staring at the computer and doing god knows what is she busy about.
10) I can't rest when i'm studying(WTCRAP! I give myself a break by playing the guitar & i get scolded for resting. Can someone just tell me what to do)
I'm not sure what more restrictions i have but this is all i can think about..I will update this list again when i remember more.
Why suddenly i list this out?
Because...I returned from camp yesterday night, so i unpacked, washed my clothes & bath. After doing all that i watched TV with the rest of my family about 11.30pm while my mum is sleeping. I was too tired so i slept before the show ended and i was woken up by my mother's scream. "WHAT TIME ALREADY?! STILL SLEEPING!" I was like i'm tired is sleeping more than 7hrs so bad? Then she starts to threaten me, "U BETTER WAKE UP OR ELSE I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU GO FOR YR OTHER CAMPS", this line seriously pissed me off. It's not the freaking first time she did this. When I was in sec sch, she threatened me that she will call my sch band chear to kick my out of the band because of my results/coming back home late because of all the meetings & plannings(I tink, i dont remember which). Wa, seriously i hate that. I so wanted to scream at her this morning but i was too tired too. I missed my family after the 6days in camp but after watever she did that feeling just vanished. Sometimes i so want to just go for camps so frequently to escape from all these. Some told me to sit down and talk to her but its useless, i noe you will say if i dont try how would i noe? There's no need to try, you can get the answer everyday. She will ask what time i'm coming home and i will say 6pm then she will ask again about 2mins later. How sad will you be if you have to experience this every single day. I wanted to cry when every time it happens. So do you think sitting down & talking to her will work? will she remember whatever i told her? The best thing was last year, she forgot my younger sis & my birthday(FYI: both our BD falls on the same day). I was ok with it cause i didnt mind but i just feel terrible for my sis, how can she receive such sadness at such a day. So i planned to remind my mum and buy the cake for my little bro's BD and luckily she bought the cake with me reminding, or else my bro will seriously be sadder. I tink i better stop or else i will start crying. BYE~
1) Have to come home before 12(even if its 10/11pm my mum will still nag)
2) No going out at night
3) No camping(Like wtcrap. It's just camping, I had to find reasons to let her allow me to go)
4) Not allowed to play guitar often or any instrument(Like wtcrap. I close the door to play and im not disturbing you!)
5) No BF until 21(This piece of info come frm my sis recently when my mother suspected I hav a BF and asked her. when my sis asked when was the right time, she said 21. -_-" LOLs, but she didnt noe i broke this rule long ago. *EVIL ME*)
6) Have to sleep before 1 and wake up before 9 or else my mum will start threatening me
7) No working till midnight(how am i going to leave through my attachment. No matter wat company im attached to i need to work till midnight..DIE...)
8) No using of laptop/TV the whole day(then what in the world am i suppose to do?)
9) I have to do all the housework for her when she is "BUSY" but actually she is staring at the computer and doing god knows what is she busy about.
10) I can't rest when i'm studying(WTCRAP! I give myself a break by playing the guitar & i get scolded for resting. Can someone just tell me what to do)
I'm not sure what more restrictions i have but this is all i can think about..I will update this list again when i remember more.
Why suddenly i list this out?
Because...I returned from camp yesterday night, so i unpacked, washed my clothes & bath. After doing all that i watched TV with the rest of my family about 11.30pm while my mum is sleeping. I was too tired so i slept before the show ended and i was woken up by my mother's scream. "WHAT TIME ALREADY?! STILL SLEEPING!" I was like i'm tired is sleeping more than 7hrs so bad? Then she starts to threaten me, "U BETTER WAKE UP OR ELSE I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU GO FOR YR OTHER CAMPS", this line seriously pissed me off. It's not the freaking first time she did this. When I was in sec sch, she threatened me that she will call my sch band chear to kick my out of the band because of my results/coming back home late because of all the meetings & plannings(I tink, i dont remember which). Wa, seriously i hate that. I so wanted to scream at her this morning but i was too tired too. I missed my family after the 6days in camp but after watever she did that feeling just vanished. Sometimes i so want to just go for camps so frequently to escape from all these. Some told me to sit down and talk to her but its useless, i noe you will say if i dont try how would i noe? There's no need to try, you can get the answer everyday. She will ask what time i'm coming home and i will say 6pm then she will ask again about 2mins later. How sad will you be if you have to experience this every single day. I wanted to cry when every time it happens. So do you think sitting down & talking to her will work? will she remember whatever i told her? The best thing was last year, she forgot my younger sis & my birthday(FYI: both our BD falls on the same day). I was ok with it cause i didnt mind but i just feel terrible for my sis, how can she receive such sadness at such a day. So i planned to remind my mum and buy the cake for my little bro's BD and luckily she bought the cake with me reminding, or else my bro will seriously be sadder. I tink i better stop or else i will start crying. BYE~
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